Dreams, Nightmares & Screamscapes...

I have dreams & nightmares, everyone does. But 99.9% of the time I can't remember them on waking and the rest fade from memory in minutes. I think often it's a good way to be, you forget the good ones but also no memory of the bad.

But this morning was different. For the first time ever I awoke shaking & physically ill because of a, to me, very distressing dream. And I have to admit I have no idea how to deal with it or what to think of it.

The subject of the dream touched very heavily on my past, something that devastated my life, even as a toddler. It took the event, twisted it & expanded it to a very disturbing degree. And now I just can't shake it.

So I'm opening this up to ideas, thoughts, stories & suggestions. If you have ever had dreams or nightmares that have shaken you to the core, how do you deal with them? How have you coped with the mental anguish they can cause?

I really am all at sea with this one.

Take care until next time.

Mark.

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Getting Back Onto The Horse

Not posting as much as I should be. Always feel at times I'm not only letting myself down but others as well when I go quiet like this. I know I 'shouldn't' feel bad not posting but we all know how that goes.

So for now I will just content myself with trying and post something every few days, no matter what it is. Hopefully it will be something fun, interesting or informative, but no guarantees.

Take care everyone.

Mark

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Current Happenings: I'm Keeping it All Together

A few of you may have noticed that lately I've been posting mainly news & information rather than anything about what's been going on in my own world. Part of this is because of the new direction the blog has taken, almost on it's own, to report happenings from around the world in regards to mostly mental health issues & to help raise awareness of the subject, hoping to help ease the stigma surrounding mental illness.

The other reason is that I've been going through a really good period lately, including a short run of mania, that has made it hard to get my own thoughts in any real order. But right now things are quite good so hopefully I'll be able to get a bit more done. I have a few more articles of my own in the works, as well as doing a guest post on another blog in the near future - more on that later.

So while I haven't been overly active, emotionally I'm in a good place right now & have been interacting better with those in my life. Maybe it's the fact it's summer here & the extra sunlight is doing me good, or perhaps it's good things happening in my personal life that has me feeling this way. I don't really care what the cause is, I'm just going to ride this wave while it lasts. Everyone deserves some happiness in their lives so I will not be denying mine!

So here are my ratings which covers the last couple of weeks, it's looking good:

Emotional: 8.0

Interactions: 7.0

Activity: 5.0 (need more exercise, think I'm putting on weight again....)

Cheers

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Daily Report - 25 Jan

A very quiet & down kind of day today. Nothing too drastic, just no energy & looking for a bit of quiet. Couldn't even be bothered answering the phone - didn't feel like dealing with people too much. Internet was my only connection to the outside world, except for a couple of friends who dropped in to check on me.

I don't feel this is all that drastic, not a slide down into a depression. Everyone gets down a little now and then. Just one of those days.

Got something planned for tomorrow as long as the weather is ok. Hope it is, need to get out for a while.


Going to have to get to work on some new articles for here, with nothing but daily updates it must be getting pretty boring for others. :)

Emotional: 5.0

Activity: 2.5

Interaction: 3.0

Cheers for now.

Daily Report - 24 Jan

Another day, another dollar as the saying goes. Not much to say about it really. My meds appear to be working properly over the last couple of nights. The only problem with that is they make it VERY hard to get going in the mornings. Can sleep for 12 to 14 hours easy, and if I didn't force myself to get out of bed then even longer.

All this sleep & feeling quite lethargic when I do finally get up means really nothing gets done all day. Hell it's usually around midday or later before I can get moving at all. Don't know what to do about it really - before changing meds my life was in the toilet, but these days of not being able to move aren't much fun either.

Didn't do much of anything at all today. Went out for a cuppa with a friend in the afternoon for an hour or so. Then out for a little while bowling tonight & that's it. Spent a little time through the day working on some outlines to a few articles I want to write for here, hope to start getting them done over the next few days to a week. Maybe. :)

But overall a pretty quiet day.

Emotional: 5.0

Activity: 4.0

Interaction: 4.5

Look after yourselves until next time.

Daily Report - 23 Jan

Haven't posted for a few days so this is a combined report. Today has been a pretty quiet one for me but have been pretty active the last few. Been able to get out - going fishing, visiting friends & family, went bowling again and a few other things.

But evenings are still a bit of a problem. Most days after about 5:00PM I'm alone at home. Generally this isn't a problem, I'll sit around listening to music, reading, writing or something. But then come the nights I sit thinking about my life, my past. Not always a good place to be. I feel the making of an article there....

But the days lately have been pretty good, so I guess I need to be thankful for that. The ratings that follow are for the last few days combined.

Emotional: 7.5 (despite a couple of little hiccups!)

Activity: 6.0

Interaction: 7.0

Cheers for now, take care of yourselves.

Daily Report - 19 Jan

A bit of an up & down type of day. Got more sleep last night than I had in the previous week but got up feeling tired anyway. Went out & did a couple of things but by 10am I had had it, I needed SLEEP! Finished what I was doing & then spent the next six or seven hours sleeping the day away.

A friend has suggested that this need of sleep, so powerful, is actually a way for me to escape from a situation or feelings/emotions I'm not comfortable with, a flight response. They could be right, it is another thing on the list I need to investigate.

But despite the sleep issue & lack of activity, today I felt pretty good emotionally. A much better feeling than the down times!

Emotional: 6.5

Activity: 4.0

Interaction: 4.5

Cheers until next time.

Daily Report - 18 Jan

Despite another sleepless night, today was a pretty good day. Up early for the fishing trip I mentioned yesterday - no luck though, maybe next time. After that spent a busy but good day in some very good company. We worked few a few things together & had a few laughs along the way. I really enjoyed the day.

Evening was soured a little when I returned home to find a friend having a hard time with their own depression, resulting in a trip to the hospital. They're home now & I hope it will all work out over the next few days with the support rallying around. Fingers crossed on that one.

But overall it was one of my better days. Another busy day tomorrow so hopefully get a good nights sleep!

Emotional: 7.0

Activity: 6.0

Interaction: 6.0

Cheers

Daily Report - 17 Jan

A pretty quiet day after another night with little sleep. The day wasn't a total waste though. The previous post today is actually a spin-off form an article I'm writing detailing my history & experiences with severe depression, bipolar, stress & anxiety. It started out just being a post but I soon realised it was too big for that so it's going on it's own page when completed.

Tweeted a little and spent some time chatting with a good friend before actually getting out of the house & doing something. Ten pin bowling is currently my major social activity and tonight was the first night back for the year. I enjoy bowling & really think that if you are a sufferer & can find some social activity you can enjoy without too much stress then try & get out and do it.

Early tomorrow morning I'm taking a friends son out to teach him how to fish so that should be something good for both of us - all I need now is to be able to sleep!

Emotional: 6.0

Activity: 4.5

Interaction: 5.0

So not really too bad a day overall.

Cheers.

Daily Report - 16 Jan

Another pretty quiet, middle of the road sort of day. A couple of posts here, a few tweets there but not a lot of activity. Got a couple of things done that I wanted to, but plenty of room to do more. Just finding it hard to self-motivate right now. But I know the more I keep trying, the easier it will become. I do have to spend LESS time sitting here looking at the screen....

Emotional: 5.5 / 10

Activity: 3.5 / 10

Interaction: 3.0 / 10

Cheers

Daily Report - 15 Jan

Well, a real middle of the road sort of day. Caught up on some of the sleep I'd missed the last couple of days so it was a later start then normal. Still not a lot of energy so didn't get much done really. The previous post was my big effort of the day, but hopefully it will help someone if they need it.


Just hoping for a good nights sleep again to have a bit of extra energy tomorrow!


Emotional: 5.0 / 10
Activity: 3.5 / 10
Interaction: 3.0 / 10


Cheers.