Over the years, when I've been right down in the pit of my depression, I find myself with a need to write. It's an urge that just happens - I get an idea in my head, maybe a line or two, that just won't go away until I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). Sometimes it's just those couple of lines that I'll write and maybe come back later to expand on, to make it something that may be worth reading. But most times I can't stop until I have a finished product.
I have no real control over what I write & never know what to expect. A number of years ago I was going through a really bad period around Christmas. One night I sat down & wrote a poem that left no doubt what my state of mind was - The Storm is a dark way to describe my depression. Yet the next night, Christmas Eve, when I think I was feeling worse, the need to write struck again.
The end result this time was Christmas Is, a poem with a religious message about how the meaning of Xmas is being lost in the modern day. It is a poem of hope, faith and love that in no way reflected how I was feeling at the time. And I am far from a religious person, only going to churches for weddings & funerals. It just shows how little control I have when the mood hits - instead of some bleak, depressing, suicidal prose I got this.
Over the years I've found that this writing is a release for me, a way of getting tangled emotions & thoughts out. It's a personal therapy. Even this particular post is, it's coming out the same way as my other writings - just something I have to write at this very moment. This is my release for today.
Now I'm trying to get in the habit of writing even when I'm not depressed or waiting until the 'have to do it' feeling hits. I have found it a great outlet for everything that I would normally keep bottled up inside which would just leads to me feeling worse & worse if I didn't get it out. It is simply a way to help me deal with the situation. And I do think it does help.
Do you have an outlet to help you? If you haven't, maybe finding what works for you will help through the roughest parts of life. For me it's writing, but everyone is different so finding what works for you is trial & error. For me it was easy really, I just had the feeling that I HAVE TO DO THIS! It gets in my mind and becomes a compulsion, an obsession.
There is so much out there that can be used as your outlet. You could paint, draw, exercise, write or any number of things. Be creative in what you look at, it could be something that even you don't understand properly. If you get a feeling that there is something you just feel the need to do then give it a try, expand on it. Let it grow & feed it if you find it helps.
Have you found an outlet for your emotions? What do you do? Let me know, maybe your ideas & suggestions will help others by giving them ideas to work on. Your suggestions & thoughts could do more than you think - they may just save a life.
Until next time......
The information contained in blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.
For those who don't know, the book is a collection of pieces written by sufferers of various mental illnesses. I am lucky enough to have two contributions in the book, a copy of a guest post I did for Suzie's No More Wriggling Out of Writing site & a poem, 'Loneliness', which Suzie found in my Scribd collection.
