Guest Post: No more wriggling out of writing ……

Social networking sites can be a great place to meet people & find information about subjects that interest or have relevance to you. It was through Twitter that I met Suzie Grogan, the author of No more wriggling out of writing......, a site dedicated to writing, Keats, and, a little strangely perhaps, mental health issues. Suzie is a freelance professional researcher & writer on a diverse range of subjects.

Each month or so Suzie invites someone to do a guest post for the mental health section of her site & I was surprised & honored when she asked if I would be interested in doing this months. When she asked I had no idea what I would write about but what finally arrived was "One year on: a new life". This short article looks at the last year or so of my life and the amazing changes that have taken place.

So take a stroll over to Suzies great site and see what a difference a year can make once you start getting things right!

Cheers.

 

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Back to school - it's never too late

Returning to the halls of learning is something I've considered on & off for years but never followed through with. Over the years I've even signed on for a few courses but the steam quickly ran out and they fell by the wayside. It's pretty hard to keep going with depression continually pulling you down. I would get a lot done in the first few weeks while the energy was up, but when it was gone, nothing.

I think a lot of the problem was I was trying to do it all by distance education so I wouldn't have to face sitting in a classroom situation with a whole lot of strangers. The problem for me was that there was no structured learning. What I was doing was easy for me but I couldn't keep myself grounded with the need to get things completed & sent in for assessment. I also had no-one around to encourage & support me

So this time I'm biting the bullet & trying a return to the classroom if possible. In my mind I'm a lot better now than at any time I've tried studying previously and I also have some great support close at hand. I'm also hoping the more structured environment will assist in keeping me motivated, or at least to get things done for fear of failing!

Me or labels?

Have I been me, or have I been trying to live the labels placed on me by others? I know when I was originally diagnosed I wasn't in a good way and since then I've had a number of very rough periods.

But would they have been so bad if I hadn't blindly accepted that I was what people said I was? Would I have done what I've done if I hadn't been labelled with a 'mental illness'? I have actually done more 'living' in the last 12 months than in the previous 10 years. Yet I've been given labels even worse than I had previously.

Is that because of the new medication & counselling I'm getting or because I have begun, even subconsciously, questioning what I am? Or a combination of both?

Additionally, there is the question of 'ownership' of my past actions. It has never sat well with me when my current counsellor tells me that I am not responsible for what I've done, it's the illness, & that I need to separate my actions from who I am. But I've always felt that perhaps the illness did contribute to the results of the action, but it was me who made the initial decision to act in the first place.

Labels & ownership of actions/thoughts, these are 2 areas I think I will need to consider carefully in the coming weeks.