BeyondNow - Suicide Safety Planning

Had a post from beyondblue show up on my Facebook page a few minutes ago. It could be something a few around here could find very useful.

"Today we’re proud to share our Australian-first suicide safety planning app, BeyondNow.

Safety planning is exactly what it sounds like – creating a plan to stay safe during those really difficult moments. The BeyondNow app makes this suicide prevention tool even more valuable by putting your plan in your pocket – you’ll always have it on hand if you need it. It can be hard to think clearly when you’re in a suicidal crisis or having thoughts or feelings about suicide. Having all your warning signs, coping strategies, reasons for living and support listed in one place means you can focus on working through the steps until you feel safe. We hope that you and your loved ones will never need this app. But if you do, we hope it can guide you through the tough times.

You can download the app from the App Store or Google Play."

You can find our more on the BeyondNow web page.

I haven't looked at it fully myself but it looks good & perhaps it can be used for other types of crisis or distress too. Hopefully this is something that will help when we need it most.

Take care all.

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Internal Acceptance Movement!

I ran across this site the other day for the Internal Acceptance Movement (I. A.M.). It was started by a young woman, Daniell Koepke, and has the simple motto of You exist, and therefore, you matter. I'll let her describe about it in her own words:

I came up with the idea while I was in treatment for an eating disorder in the summer of 2009. My initial goal was to spread eating disorder awareness and promote body positivity.

After creating a space on Tumblr, I decided that I wanted the I. A.M. to encompass something more broad — I wanted the blog focus on helping people heal from any struggle; to offer encouragement and validation; to remind people that they aren’t alone and that the things they struggle with don’t have to be a source of shame; to provide self-care tips and coping skills; and to offer hope that things can and will get better. 

Daniell is studying psychology with the goal of becoming a therapist. I think she will make a great one. Her own writings & thoughts have some great insights and are full of encouragement & support for all. Highly recommended.

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Dandelions & Bad Hair Days: Now on Kindle

Dandelions and Bad Hair Days, a collection of poetry and prose edited by Suzie Grogan, has been mentioned here several times in the past. Released in October 2012, the book is finally available on Kindle from Amazon.

For those who don't know, the book is a collection of pieces written by sufferers of various mental illnesses. I am lucky enough to have two contributions in the book, a copy of a guest post I did for Suzie's No More Wriggling Out of Writing site & a poem, 'Loneliness', which Suzie found in my Scribd collection.

The book is a look at the world as seen by those that live each day with mental illness. It's not just a book for other sufferers, but for carers, friends, family & the community. It may help people understand our daily struggles better.

Additionally all profits from the sale of both the paperback & digital versions of the book go to SANE UK & other nominated charities. So by purchasing the book, you not only get a great read, but are supporting mental health charities.

I hope you will take the time to spend a few dollars for a good cause and some enjoyable, insightful reading.

Take care
Mark 

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Dreams, Nightmares & Screamscapes...

I have dreams & nightmares, everyone does. But 99.9% of the time I can't remember them on waking and the rest fade from memory in minutes. I think often it's a good way to be, you forget the good ones but also no memory of the bad.

But this morning was different. For the first time ever I awoke shaking & physically ill because of a, to me, very distressing dream. And I have to admit I have no idea how to deal with it or what to think of it.

The subject of the dream touched very heavily on my past, something that devastated my life, even as a toddler. It took the event, twisted it & expanded it to a very disturbing degree. And now I just can't shake it.

So I'm opening this up to ideas, thoughts, stories & suggestions. If you have ever had dreams or nightmares that have shaken you to the core, how do you deal with them? How have you coped with the mental anguish they can cause?

I really am all at sea with this one.

Take care until next time.

Mark.

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

The Cost of Mental Health: More Than Money

Sunday September 2nd is Fathers Day here in Australia and, as normal for me around special occasions, it has had me thinking about what my mental health problems have cost me over the years. Not in terms of money, but in other ways. My conclusion: it has cost me plenty.

Dealing with mental health costs everyone financially; sufferers, families, friends & the entire community. But for those dealing with the illnesses it usually costs far more in the way of family, friends & living standards. So much of our lives can be affected both directly & indirectly by the illness and its treatments - and the stigma that surrounds it.

Left untreated, mental illness can make life hell for everyone around the sufferer. Even when you get a diagnosis it can be just as hard. A lot of times it's hard to get a correct diagnosis and then it is usually a lot of trial & error to find a treatment plan that works or helps the patient. It can take years to get things anywhere near right.

A little bit up, a little bit down

Haven't really been writing much the last few weeks, probably because I have been having periods of feeling a little down & the energy/desire to write much has been seriously lacking. The past few weeks haven't been bad compared to the past but the lack of motivation & energy has been there. A lot of time all I've wanted to do is sleep with no drive to do anything else.

It hasn't been all bad, I've had periods where I've felt a little up, even if they are in the minority. The best thing about this, despite how up & down things have been, is that I feel that right now I can cope, rather than just giving in to the depression. It's a nice change from the past.

Guest Post: No more wriggling out of writing ……

Social networking sites can be a great place to meet people & find information about subjects that interest or have relevance to you. It was through Twitter that I met Suzie Grogan, the author of No more wriggling out of writing......, a site dedicated to writing, Keats, and, a little strangely perhaps, mental health issues. Suzie is a freelance professional researcher & writer on a diverse range of subjects.

Each month or so Suzie invites someone to do a guest post for the mental health section of her site & I was surprised & honored when she asked if I would be interested in doing this months. When she asked I had no idea what I would write about but what finally arrived was "One year on: a new life". This short article looks at the last year or so of my life and the amazing changes that have taken place.

So take a stroll over to Suzies great site and see what a difference a year can make once you start getting things right!

Cheers.

 

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Going loony: the moon & mental illness

I frequently visit the forums at SANE UK and today there was a post about the moon. The original post was just a comment on how the moon looked but it wasn't long before the relationship between the moon & mental illness popped up. So the question is, does the moon have any effect on those with a mental illness?

The simple answer is no, there is no relationship at all. Hundreds of studies over the years have come up with absolutely no evidence that changes in moon phases has any effect on mental illness or any number of other issues like violence & the behavior of dogs.

Despite this, a study by the University of New Orleans has shown that up to 81% of mental health professionals believe there is a relationship between the moon & human behavior. Why, in the 21st century, would someone with years of training still accept a fallacy like this to be true?

Back to school - it's never too late

Returning to the halls of learning is something I've considered on & off for years but never followed through with. Over the years I've even signed on for a few courses but the steam quickly ran out and they fell by the wayside. It's pretty hard to keep going with depression continually pulling you down. I would get a lot done in the first few weeks while the energy was up, but when it was gone, nothing.

I think a lot of the problem was I was trying to do it all by distance education so I wouldn't have to face sitting in a classroom situation with a whole lot of strangers. The problem for me was that there was no structured learning. What I was doing was easy for me but I couldn't keep myself grounded with the need to get things completed & sent in for assessment. I also had no-one around to encourage & support me

So this time I'm biting the bullet & trying a return to the classroom if possible. In my mind I'm a lot better now than at any time I've tried studying previously and I also have some great support close at hand. I'm also hoping the more structured environment will assist in keeping me motivated, or at least to get things done for fear of failing!

Talk yourself up: Self Affirmation

A couple of weeks ago I posted Mind Over Matter, about a press release suggesting what a person thinks about an illness plays an important role in their health outcomes. With mental illness, could this be even more important? What is self affirmation and how can it be used by a sufferer to help improve their life?

Self affirmation is nothing new, it's been around for decades and is a major part of many self-help books. Dr Norman Vincent Peale called it 'The Power of Positive Thinking', one of the most famous books on the subject. It's not a complicated procedure & you don't really need a book to tell you how to do it. All that's involved is telling yourself, usually at least once a day (the more the better), something good & positive about yourself. It's something anyone can do.

Computers to identify the at risk?

The other day I posted an article about the possibility that a blood test could help identify those with depression, a great step forward. Now it looks like the researchers are getting computers involved in identifying those at risk of mental illness.

A press release by the Welcome Trust suggests that a computer programme may be able to identify those at risk of mood disorders & anxiety. According to research published in PLoS ONE, an open access journal, computers can be 'taught' to differentiate between brain scans of adolescents to identify those most at risk of psychiatric disorders like depression and anxiety.

With most mental illnesses typically manifesting themselves during the adolescent years & early adulthood, the earlier that those at risk can be identified the better. Early intervention could result in a delay or even prevent the illness appearing in those at risk.

Mental Illness: How Prepared is Your GP?

A tweet from Black Dog Tribe today led me to this video by Professor Lewis Wolpert where he mentions that he doesn't think most GP's are prepared enough to deal with patients with mental illness. Additionally, he voices something that I totally agree with - that unless you have experienced a mental illness you can never really understand what it's all about.

Friends, people I've worked with & even anonymous posters on a number of forums I frequent have all said the same thing. A lot complain about GP's who try & look at other causes, or don't have an understanding how bad it really is. Or those that give a prescription for some form of mild anti-depressant with absolutely no follow-up at a later date. Sadly a lot of people with mental illness find, after working up the courage to initially mention their problem, that doing anything more themselves is just too hard. They just won't go back and seek further assistance.

I know for myself it was talking to other sufferers that started making it easier for me to deal with my illness. Doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists & other mental health workers just didn't seem to understand just what it's like. No offence at all to those working in the mental health field, they do what their training & experience tells them to do. But sometimes this just isn't enough, and the sufferer feels let down by the system or just fall through the cracks.

My old family GP was a good doctor, I liked going to him & he was the first one I opened up to about my problem. He tried to help, arranged anti-depressants, got me to see a psychiatrist and try and get me going in the right direction. Only problem was that I really didn't enjoy my sessions with my psychiatrist (for some reason he thought going for a walk or getting a job to occupy my mind was the solution - for someone who couldn't leave the house!). Additionally, my initial (and incorrect) diagnosis of severe depression was the one that stuck for the next 11 years.

After I was diagnosed I did a lot of research on the subject and it wasn't long before I realised I wasn't just depressed, I was more likely bipolar. But no-one seemed to listen. Everything was directed at trying to fix my depression and it wasn't working. They seemed to go deaf when I mentioned my periods of mania - they were very short compared to my long periods of depression - and it just slipped by. And some of the medications I tried during this period are great for treating depression, but were some of the worst for treating bipolar, making things even drastic.

It was only after moving to another area a couple of years ago that anything really changed, and even that took a more than a year of seeing my new GP. But eventually I had a few things go badly wrong for me and early last year I went to my doctor hell bent on getting help. I booked a long appointment and we spent the time really going through everything & at last he really listened, He seemed to understand. My diagnosis was changed & added to, booked in with a new counsellor and, probably most importantly, was changed to more suitable medications.

The last 12 months have been totally different for me, after an initial period of switching meds and tweaking them to meet my needs. Probably still some changes to be made there, but it has been a much better year than I had experienced in a long time. Still a long way to go, just heading in the right direction. But it was my actions that brought about this change. I was still being treated as just suffering depression until the time I just about forced my GP to listen. I was lucky & he did really try to understand & for that I'm grateful. Sadly a lot of sufferers just can't bring themselves to make the sort of stand I did.

With up to 10% of the population suffering from a mental illness at some stage it is probably something that needs to be looked into. This feeling of not being listened to or understood by others is a big reason why only about 1 in 5 sufferers will seek professional help, and it's very likely there are many more who don't follow through after an initial treatment or two.

So what is your experience with GP's and mental health workers? Good? Bad? Indifferent? What can be done to improve the situation? I have no idea myself, though if I think about it during my next manic period I'm sure I'll find a solution, I just need to be able to hold onto it. ;)

Let me know your thoughts.

Cheers.

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

More than words

An interesting article about how to approach mental illness in a relationship fro the Time to Change website.

When I met my boyfriend, I had been diagnosed with bipolar for about four years, and in that four years, I had refused to date or even get close to anyone. I initially saw my bipolar as a death sentence, something that would repel everyone around me. So when I met A online, I was initially scared to get close to him. Luckily, we had many many miles between us, so I felt safe that I could be open with him, and if he rejected me (like I knew he would), it wouldn't hurt as much. I showed him my blog that had been charting my life with bipolar. I told him how bad it could be. I warned him, in no uncertain terms, what I could be like when my synapses weren't firing correctly. And weirdly, he was okay. He didn't run away. He asked questions. He tried to understand. He told me he accepted me for who I was, bad and good.

Read the full post:

More than words: How to approach mental illness in a relationship - together.

 
The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Facebook: Is this any place for the not-so-self-assured to make friends?

From the Los Angeles Times:

Facebook, the social networking giant that connects 845 million people to one another, may be a jolly gabfest for the self-assured. But for those who suffer from low self-esteem, it appears to be a rather nasty trap, luring such people into self-disclosures that prompt many a Facebook friend to agree with their low opinion of themselves.

A new study, set to be published in the journal Psychological Science, explored the dynamics of friendship on Facebook to see what benefits or pitfalls the site might offer to a population that could use the propping up of a few new friends: those who think poorly of themselves, fear judgment by others and are prone to social isolation and depression.

Enlisting a slew of undergraduates for three separate studies, they found that those with low self-esteem are encouraged and emboldened by Facebook's capacity to provide a forum for social interaction that doesn't risk awkward face-to-face communication. They established that, given the opportunity for such social interaction, those with low-esteem do engage in the kind of self-disclosure that is thought essential for friendships to take hold and deepen.

Read the complete article online.

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Mind Over Matter

Patients’ Perceptions of Illness Make a Difference

A recent press release by the Association of Psychological Science has suggested that what the sufferer thinks of their illness (ANY illness)  plays a large roll in determining their health outcomes. Research of existing literature on patients' perception of illness by Keith Petrie (University of Aukland) & John Weinman (Institute of Psychiatry at Kings College) indicates that a persons perception of their illness has a direct relationship to several key health outcomes.

These key outcomes include their level of functioning and ability, utilization of health care, adherence to treatment plans laid out by health care professionals, and even overall mortality. Further  research suggests that how a person views their illness may play a bigger role in determining  their health outcomes than the actual severity of  their disease.

Read the full press release on the Association of Psychological Science website.

The information contained in this blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Finding An Outlet

Over the years, when I've been right down in the pit of my depression, I find myself with a need to write. It's an urge that just happens - I get an idea in my head, maybe a line or two, that just won't go away until I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). Sometimes it's just those couple of lines that I'll write and maybe come back later to expand on, to make it something that may be worth reading. But most times I can't stop until I have a finished product.

I have no real control over what I write & never know what to expect. A number of years ago I was going through a really bad period around Christmas. One night I sat down & wrote a poem that left no doubt what my state of mind was - The Storm is a dark way to describe my depression. Yet the next night, Christmas Eve, when I think I was feeling worse, the need to write struck again.

The end result this time was Christmas Is, a poem with a religious message about how the meaning of Xmas is being lost in the modern day. It is a poem of hope, faith and love that in no way reflected how I was feeling at the time. And I am far from a religious person, only going to churches for weddings & funerals. It just shows how little control I have when the mood hits - instead of some bleak, depressing, suicidal prose I got this.

Over the years I've found that this writing is a release for me, a way of getting tangled emotions & thoughts out. It's a personal therapy. Even this particular post is, it's coming out the same way as my other writings - just something I have to write at this very moment. This is my release for today.

Now I'm trying to get in the habit of writing even when I'm not depressed or waiting until the 'have to do it' feeling hits. I have found it a great outlet for everything that I would normally keep bottled up inside which would just leads to me feeling worse & worse if I didn't get it out. It is simply a way to help me deal with the situation. And I do think it does help.

Do you have an outlet to help you? If you haven't, maybe finding what works for you will help through the roughest parts of life. For me it's writing, but everyone is different so finding what works for you is trial & error. For me it was easy really, I just had the feeling that I HAVE TO DO THIS! It gets in my mind and becomes a compulsion, an obsession.

There is so much out there that can be used as your outlet. You could paint, draw, exercise, write or any number of things. Be creative in what you look at, it could be something that even you don't understand properly. If you get a feeling that there is something you just feel the need to do then give it a try, expand on it. Let it grow & feed it if you find it helps.

Have you found an outlet for your emotions? What do you do? Let me know, maybe your ideas & suggestions will help others by giving them ideas to work on. Your suggestions & thoughts could do more than you think - they may just save a life.

You can find more of my writings - my outlet on My Scribd Page.

Until next time......

The information contained in blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Making Connections

Making connections with people, places & memories is an important part of anyone's life. But for a lot of people with mental illness making & maintaining these connections can be quite problematic. Being unable to attach emotions to places, events & people can at times be quite difficult.

It is one major problem for me, making long term connections to people in particular. Besides family, I have no-one I could call a long term friend. There is no-one in my life I have known for more than a couple of years, and almost all of them are just people I've met through relatives, only a couple I would consider to be really my friends.

It's been like that throughout my life. I have no old school friends, army buddies, workmates etc. The connections just aren't there. Unless someone is in my face on some sort of regular basis, they just fade away, often to be forgotten totally - people who at the time I would have considered great friends. Probably the only way I managed to stay with my ex for so long is because she was always 'there'.

The issue for me, besides having troubles getting out to meet people in the first place, seems to be the long periods where I am emotionally dead. An almost total lack of empathy with anything at all. A lot of time music, movies or a sad (usually true) story will produce an emotional response where I just have nothing when it's associated with someone I know. Added to this is the lack of emotional connections with almost everything, making it difficult for memories to take hold. A lot of my past is very hazy for me, or simply not there.

Of course, this type of thing creates problems of its own. You know how people EXPECT you to feel about someone or something but for some reason you just can't feel that way. So you fake it. And then you sit there wondering why? Why can't I be like others? Why don't I feel the way they do? Is there something wrong with me? etc. And this type of thinking can start you on a downward spiral into a period of depression.


I am yet to find a solution to dealing with this emotional black hole. It just seems like you're absorbing all the emotions and when you get down towards the lowest ebb of your cycle they rush back all at once. It can just be so overwhelming, making things seem so much darker than they should be.


Over the last 12 months or so I've been getting out trying to establish new connections, hoping to be able to build a few lasting ones. Changes to my medications have helped with that, allowing me to get out & interact more. It lets me keep people in my life, getting to know them & building the links needed to create lasting connections.


Will it work in the long term? I have no idea at all. There are still so many times I feel emotionally empty, looking at the world around me as if I'm not a part of it. But I also know from past experience the emotions will return, even if only for a little while at a time. The secret is not letting them carry me away when they do.


So how do you deal with connections to the past? Do you ever worry about them or have you developed a way to help create lasting attachments to people, places & events?


Cheers for now.

The information contained in blog can not be considered medical advice. These are only my own thoughts, feelings & ideas. If you or someone you know are having problems with mental illness please seek qualified medical advice.

Mental Illness: Still a Dirty Secret

As someone who suffers from depression & bipolar disorder, it's hard at times to deal with the stigma many people still associate with the diagnosis. Sufferers will not admit to having a mental illness for fear of being labelled as crazy, be accused of faking it or being shunned & ridiculed in other ways. Even worse is when they won't admit it to themselves, these people can become a danger to themselves & those around them.

On the other side is people who don't recognise the signs and blame it on other things. This is the group I fell into, not knowing what severe depression or bipolar was. Many uninformed people think it's just a case of being sad most of the time & totally crazy at others. Those that suffer from these illnesses know it is much, much more than that.

It is vital that information about mental illness be made as widely available as possible & an attempt be made to get people discussing the issue openly. Being able to recognise signs of possible mental health issues in yourself or those around you AND to be able to get the required help without fear of ridicule or scorn could save a life, maybe yours!


Thankfully today many people, including celebrities, realise what an important issue Mental Health is and the effects it has on society. A number of celebrities have put there names behind campaigns to raise public awareness of the issues and others have come out and spoken openly of their personal experience with depression, bipolar & other mental illnesses.


Mental illness isn't the domain of the weak, the unknowns, it is also part of daily life for many of the rich and famous. And at all levels of society, every day, mental illness costs lives, a lot of the time because the sufferer or those around them fear discussing it, or fail to recognise it for what it is. Times are changing, but how many more lives, great & small, will be wasted before the stigma of having a mental illness is lifted, allowing people to feel comfortable discussing their problems & openly seeking help.


Most major Mental Health websites have celebrities involved in raising awareness of mental health issues. Add your voice so that in the future sufferers, their family & friends can openly find the support & information they need to perhaps save a life.


Mark K.

Control or Direction

In reading & replying to comments to a previous post I began to think about what I meant about 'taking control of my life'. Looking at it more closely, I don't think I really mean control, as there is so much in our everyday life we can't control. Trying to control the things we can't will lead nowhere, just more suffering & frustration.

Instead, I think I mean it more as getting direction in my life, having something to aim for, a goal. I've spent years just drifting, pushed around by the labels placed upon me by others. Accepting them without really seeking to see if they are true or not. In accepting these labels, I have probably altered my life to fit within them - not a good step at all.

So now I'll be saying I'm seeking direction in my life, not control. I need to decide where & what I want my life to be. And the more specific & 'real' I can make the direction I want to go, the better I should be able to reach my destination.

"In life, seek not control. Seek instead direction. With direction you have control of what you can and acceptance of what you can't." ~ Drac0, 2012

Cheers

Blog Update

Just added a number of links to the Mental Health Links available on the right. These sites are from all over the world & offer help, support & information on mental health issues & treatments.


Eventually I will need to move these links to a new page with more information about each site.


Cheers